Drinking Today But Not As Bad

I am drinking right now..I thought it would be a good ideal not to paint a picture of "I am not addicted no more and I am cured" . I am still drinking the only difference is I am "trying to drink" right now. I don't really want to drink but my mind doesn't want to stop. So I continue to fight...I know it sounds crazy but I continue to take meds and drink ...I know what drinking is doing to me, I hate what it does to me, but  I continue to do it...although I do feel like I am getting better. I know sounds crazy but thought I should post....I forgot to take nal an hour before but I still took an hour after I started drinking...

80 Days: Things Are Getting Better

I am not going to lie I still drink way more then I should and I am still at levels that are unhealthy but the good part is I am starting to slow down even more. Last night I went to bed after a few drinks!! I didn't feel the need to polish the bottle off because I couldn't get enough. My thought was like what the hell stay up and drink all night or go to bed I believe I will just go to bed. That is very unusual for this ol drunk so I am starting to feel the improvements. It's really simple as one comment said just take a pill an hour before you drink. My girlfriend thinks the only reason I am still drinking is because it's a control thing. The one thing I thought I could control is if I drink or not(which is obviously a lie) so it's the one thing I keep trying to do but I am just enjoying it less as each day goes by.

75 Days: I Am Starting To See Improvements

Well, I guess can say I've been improving since the last time I wrote on here. I've had a few days where I went way over board but for the most part I am slowly drinking less and less. It's almost weird because half the time I don't feel like drinking but I still do for whatever reason but when I do its like I don't feel like finishing what I started if you know what I mean. So I will have me a few drinks and call it quits. I am a big guy so it takes a lot to get me hammered so when I have a few mixed drinks I don't really feel nothing its like I am doing it to comfort myself. I hope I can get to the day where " I don 't need a drink" ..which I feel is right around the corner