Drinking Today But Not As Bad

I am drinking right now..I thought it would be a good ideal not to paint a picture of "I am not addicted no more and I am cured" . I am still drinking the only difference is I am "trying to drink" right now. I don't really want to drink but my mind doesn't want to stop. So I continue to fight...I know it sounds crazy but I continue to take meds and drink ...I know what drinking is doing to me, I hate what it does to me, but  I continue to do it...although I do feel like I am getting better. I know sounds crazy but thought I should post....I forgot to take nal an hour before but I still took an hour after I started drinking...

80 Days: Things Are Getting Better

I am not going to lie I still drink way more then I should and I am still at levels that are unhealthy but the good part is I am starting to slow down even more. Last night I went to bed after a few drinks!! I didn't feel the need to polish the bottle off because I couldn't get enough. My thought was like what the hell stay up and drink all night or go to bed I believe I will just go to bed. That is very unusual for this ol drunk so I am starting to feel the improvements. It's really simple as one comment said just take a pill an hour before you drink. My girlfriend thinks the only reason I am still drinking is because it's a control thing. The one thing I thought I could control is if I drink or not(which is obviously a lie) so it's the one thing I keep trying to do but I am just enjoying it less as each day goes by.

75 Days: I Am Starting To See Improvements

Well, I guess can say I've been improving since the last time I wrote on here. I've had a few days where I went way over board but for the most part I am slowly drinking less and less. It's almost weird because half the time I don't feel like drinking but I still do for whatever reason but when I do its like I don't feel like finishing what I started if you know what I mean. So I will have me a few drinks and call it quits. I am a big guy so it takes a lot to get me hammered so when I have a few mixed drinks I don't really feel nothing its like I am doing it to comfort myself. I hope I can get to the day where " I don 't need a drink" ..which I feel is right around the corner

Sixty Days-The Half Way Point

The Sinclair Method says it takes up to four months to see progress. So I am at the halfway point. I have my good and bad days. Last night I almost drank a whole liter of yeager and I blacked out but there is some nights I do really well though. The way I see it is at least make to to four months and see what happens. The great part is I no longer crave drinking in the mornings which is a life saver. I guess in a nutshell I am saying I've saw improvements but I am not where I want to be.

Almost at The Sixty Day Mark

Well its day 58 for me I think if I am adding correctly.  ....Well I went to Albany, New York last Tuesday and got home on Memorial Day (yesterday May 27th, 2013) The whole time I was there  I drank more then I normally have been. I lost my Naltrexone one day so I didn't take it one day. The next day I did take it though. I did a drinking contest called the "Power Hour" where you shot one ounce a beer a minute. Which is only 4 beers but me being a show off shot a few shots of Irish whiskey with it to. Which was not bright . I threw up which is abnormal for me  but I did the last the longest (53 minutes). I haven't threw up drinking in a long time and I drink a fifth or more a day. I also read a book by Ozzy Osbourne I Am Ozzy . I thought I was a drinker it almost made me feel like I am a normal drinker...Sometimes I think I read books like that to verify with myself that it is alright to drink like a fish but never the less I love Ozzy and his music and I highly recommend it. It also gave me hope because if someone like him can come through it so can we. Anyways  last night when I got home from the trip (I took my Nal..bout an hour before I got home :) ) I drank a tequllia and lemonade drink and I opened a beer. I didn't finish neither..so I went to bed sober which was great on my part and I feel like being sober today. I don't wanna get my hopes up but I feel like the Nal maybe starting to make that switch within me. I can only hope.... 

Still Holding On and More Nal Ordred

I am still drinking heavy but I am still holding on to hope that this will work. It says give it 4 months, I am in my second month, so I still have a while to go. I am only half way there. I don't have insurance right now so I don't have enough money to go to a Dr. So I went through AllDayChemist.com they are the cheapest place to get Nal. It does take a few weeks for it to get in  I am not running low yet but I wanted to make sure I had a steady supply ready  so I went ahead and ordered more and its in. So I have enough to do me for six months if I drink everyday. Hopefully I break the disease. The will is there I know. 

Been Slacking on Keeping Up On This

Well its been about 15 days since I have wrote on here which is inexcusable on my part so I apologize. Lately if I was not working I was traveling but I will tell you I have slowed down a little but not a lot. I've polished off a fifth a few times during these 15 days and I have took two days off drinking so I guess that is better then drinking a fifth a day. I've cut back on my smoking grass because I seem to eat the whole kitchen when I am in that state. I believe its working but it can't happen soon enough. I will try to get on here more often and update.